Son of a Schmitz

Well, Halloween has come and gone (almost) and aside from dressing up like Elmo last night, I've figured out that Eli has been working hard to get into character for what he really is trying to be for Halloween: an insomniac.

I think the poor kid is afraid he's going to miss something by closing his eyes for more than 2 hours. Last night, we tried to let him get through it himself for almost 2 hours, but he just didn't want to go to sleep. He finally crashed at 3, only to get up 2 hours later. The night before he decided to get up for the day at 3, only to find out at 5:30 that he was really tired and need to go back to bed.

This too, will pass... I hope. It's amazing how lack of sleep can exponentially grow writer's block.; I'm going to bed.

Next Topic: How Chihuahuas and 9 month old babies are eerily similar in their behavior and cute Halloween pictures.

Bad Week

I hate to say it, but I'm glad it's Monday tomorrow. That means that last week is over and I can forget about it. Not saying that everything was bad, but it could have been better.

My cell phone died. Cody went into the hospital. And to top it all off, we had to take Eli to the ER tonight. It was far less serious than we originally thought, but we're glad we went anyway. He had an allergic reaction to some of the food we gave him for dinner. Scared the hell out of us, but he's back to himself again.

Needless to say, blogging hasn't been at the top of my priority list this week, but I'll try to get back on track in the next couple of days.

Halloween Vote

Eli's first Halloween is coming up and I'd like everyone's vote on what costume he should wear. Please leave a comment to vote for your favorite

Luggage...what every kid wants to be for Halloween. The upside of this costume is the immense candy storage space.

Farmer Eli. Time to plant the candy corn.

Biker Chick Eli. I think it's flattering.

Oompa Loompa. No face paint needed. Or Animal from the Muppets:

Hey coach, it's Johnny Orr! Same hair style and everything.

New for Christmas: Anger Me Elmo.

ET-li. Eli phone home.

Walker, Schmitz Ranger

This will be short and sweet because I am really tired and need to get to work early tomorrow morning.

Anyway, I bought a walker for Eli yesterday in Ames after the football game and brought it home last night. Once it was assembled, we put him in and thought he'd love it because he wants to walk (with our assistance) everywhere. Wrong.

He was terrified of the thing because all he could figure out was how to back up and it was freaking him out that we were moving farther away instead of closer. He was tired too, so we figured today may be a little better.

It took a little while, but he finally figured it out tonight. He seems to like it and his initial reaction once he started moving forward was lots of laughing and big screams of excitement. Unfortunately, I was a little late with the camera, but I was able to get some of the footage below. Enjoy.

Editor's Note: You may notice Eli shaking what appears to be a medication bottle. Everyone probably thinks we are the worst parents ever to give our kid a big bottle of pain killers to use as a toy.

In actuality, the bottle is an empty bottle of Amber's nursing vitamins filled with peppercorns for our pepper grinder that Eli likes to shake. We would never let our kid have a dangerous medicine as a toy; we always administer his evening dose of valium and vicodin to help him sleep ourselves. Duh.

Spring Training Starts Tomorrow

Ok, so it's been a while since I've posted and I apologize. My goal is to at post at least twice a week, but I'm not off to a terrific start. It will get better.

He better start using the left hand more often. Everyone knows that southpaws pull down the bigger contracts.

Anyway, I just thought I'd let everyone know what a baby Eli is being lately. I've been thinking a lot about helping him save money for when he gets older and college, and how much money it's going to take to retire when I get older. I was pretty worried about it, but then I realized: Who needs a 401K? I've got a future Major League Baseball player for my nest egg. But lately Eli doesn't seem to agree.

I've been trying to get him ready for his future Major League career, and he's all like, "But Dad, I'm only 8 months old."

And I'm like, "Well, with your Dad's athletic ability in your genes, that 96 MPH fast-ball isn't going to just appear overnight. You better work at it."

Everytime I wake him up at 4 AM for our training session, he's all like, "Dad, why are getting me out of bed again and duct taping this baseball to my hand? I want to go to bed."

I try to tell him, "The grip for a knuckle-curve isn't something that just comes naturally; it takes hard work to get it down."

"If you expect to ever beat out any Dominican player for a spot on a 25-man roster, you had better start changing your work-ethic," I constantly tell him. But by that time he's usually crawling away, chewing on his books or something. Unbelievable. Kids these days!

The real kicker is the other day. We go to the weight room so Eli can work his lower body for more strength off the mound, and he's all like, "Hey Dad, don't you think I should start walking before I worry about pitching?"

I'm all like, "If you ever want to get that extra couple of inches drop on your breaking ball, you need to work on your balance point."

I wait for his response, but by that time, he's all like drooling and playing with his toys and jabbering and stuff. I'm starting to wonder if this kid has the desire to make it to the big leagues. He couldn't do one rep on the power sled and he thought the squat belt was cool because the buckle made a jingling noise. I can't believe this.

Finally, I tried to get him to at least start throwing one of his soft balls to me down in the basement. He's not too bad, but he keeps on putting the ball in this mouth and drooling all over it. I try to tell him, "You can't keep doctoring the ball once you get to the big leagues. You might as well stop throwing spit balls now."

Meanwhile, he's all like giggling and playing with a stuffed animal or something. Unreal. This kid has a long way to go before the big leagues. Tomorrow, we start working on throwing with both arms so he can be a switch pitcher, like this guy:

In all honesty, I really don't care if my kid plays baseball; I just hope he grows up happy and healthy. He can be anything he wants. Whether it's a baseball player, doctor, baseball player, band member, baseball player, lawyer, baseball player, astronaut, baseball player, garbage man, baseball player, or even a baseball player, I just hope he's happy. Heck, I wouldn't even mind if he was a baseball player!

I guess I probably shouldn't rush anything. I think I'll just take a passive approach, kind of like Earl Woods, and let the chips fall where they may.

"Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, "within reason." When I asked her what she meant by 'within reason,' she said, "You ask a lot of questions for a garbage man." - Jack Handey